Merry F***ing Christmas Mrs. Hard Heart!

I was having a discussion yesterday with a buddy who we'll call Hot Sauce. A buddy is someone that I know, who's a little more than an associate, but a little less than a friend. We worked together a couple of years ago, so we try to get together at least once or twice a year for dinner and catching up. We get along well, but we usually have very different opinions of things. I like having discussions with all kinds of people, whether we agree or not. Some of my best discussions have been with people with differing opinions. I love it when we don't agree but can engage each other in an interesting back and forth dialogue. Engage the mind, man!

So, we're enjoying fresh guacamole and chips at Rosa Mexicano Restaurant in NW Washington, DC and having great conversation. BTW - if you're in the area and haven't been, you should go. Anyways, so we start talking about current events - how great Mary J has been looking lately, laughter over Obama's NFL commercial, etc., when the subject of the 3 missing hikers comes up. Just in case you've been under a rock, here's the deal - 3 friends went mountain climbing on Mount Hood in Oregon, a big storm hit and they are now presumed dead. If you want more details, read this. We both agreed that it was a sad story and that our prayers were with the families.

Then things got a little heated. Not on my end, but on her end. I feel that daredevils fail to analyze the inherent risk in certain activities, and the impact that a "problem" will pose to other people. If you want to bungee jump, parasail, climb a mountain, take pictures of a tsunami, journey to the center of the earth or any other activity that the "average" person is not doing, go for it! Who am I to tell you not to go? Enjoy yourself. But, as a realist and a tax paying citizen, I have to question military search and rescue teams for persons participating in leisure activities. I'm a little hesitant to support the search and rescue of your silly ass when the shit fits the fan. Yep, you heard me. I know that money is spent everyday on billions on worthwhile and worthless missions and causes, but I see this as a little different. Of course accidents happen, but your involvement in high risk behaviors increase the odds that something may happen to you.

Well, Hot Sauce damn near lost it. She got huffy with me and started stuttering and saying, "What if that was your father or husband?" And I responded, "They're not climbing any mountains." At this point, I've got a giggle about to escape and my face is set in a smile, which makes Hot Sauce even madder. She got up, pushed in her chair, tossed $20 on the table, grabbed her purse and said, "Well, you have a Merry F***ing Christmas Mrs. Hard Heart!"

Folks, I almost fell out of my chair. That's the best laugh that I've had in awhile. So, in honor or my buddy Hot Sauce, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!

Ride or Die Friends (Inspired by Diva in Demand)

Yesterday, Diva in Demand talked about Ride or Die Friends. The kind of folks that you may not kick it with everyday, or share every one of lifes little details, but you can call them in a pinch when you need someone - to roll with, to stalk *lol*, to complete a mission, to handle business. That's a brief explanation. Almost anything within reason is expected from a ride or die friend. I'm not going buy or hold any drugs for you, nor should you expect me carry a loaded gun through Reagan Airport. But since I don't have the kinds of friends that would be involved in that type of ish normally, I don't really have to worry about that phone call. Put it like this, you'll know if you have some ride or die friends. :) If you don't understand the term or the explanation, you may not have any. *lol*

Anyway, I have 3. Yesterday, I mentioned 2, but I actually have 4. Oops! Diamond Diva, who lives in MD, CSI who lives in Atlanta, Monie Love in Northern Virginia and my old friend Beanie (not sure where she is). We've followed folks, "borrowed" cell phones to check call histories, gotten into fist fights, bailed each other out of jail, accompanied each other on visits to hospitals, jails, federal prisons and funeral homes, and spent a night in jail together.

One memorable night found us in DC, at the old Mirage night club. Now, ya girl is not a regular club hopper, but Diamond Diva, CSI and Monie Love are. So every 6 or 7 months, they guilt me and drag me out. For those that have never been to the Mirage in DC, it was a pretty bare bores, yucky kinda club. Kind of a last resort or a "I don't feel like dressing up, but I wanna go out" club; even jeans flew on Saturday nights. Admission was cheap, drinks were strong, music was good and the men actually danced (ok they grinded, but close enough). So the girls, myself and 3 other "associates" headed out for a Saturday night of fun.

Fast forward to 2am, we're ready to leave and head uptown to Yums for the mandatory after the club food. Diamond Diva has a little too much to drink and she decides that although she's only ever fought her older brother, she's ready to battle a girl that supposedly stepped on her foot. WTF? Oh, alcohol dreams! Well, we had no choice but to join in. The 3 associates disappeared faster than crabcakes on a free buffet. CSI, Monie Love and I joined Diamond Diva and her Rum and Coke inspired bravado into a 4 (us) on 6 (them) full on girl fight. 'Cause as a ride or die friend doesn't ask punches when the punches start flying, they just start punching.

No need to give the blow by blow of the fight, but we won and we all spent a night in the pookie! None of us have a police record, but we've got one helluva night of memories!! To my ride or die girls, I love ya!! If you have some, reach out and give them a holla today!

Movies, Movies, Movies

I love movies. As long as I catch it from the beginning, I can be pulled into almost any movie. I typically avoid really old period pieces (Troy, Gladiator, etc) and Sci-Fi (Matrix, Star Wars, etc). Any movie that makes me cry is a winner. Basic formula that gets my tear ducts working is any combination of a little romance, a little suspense, star crossed lovers, and of course, the breakup and reconciliation of a friendship or romance

This weekend, VH1 played on my favorites about 89 times and my remote control seemed to tune to it repeatedly. Since it was one of my favorites, I started reminiscing about my other favorites and decided to share. I could on and on, but I'll just mention my absolute favorites.

Top 3 Movies

Dirty Dancing - The story of a summer love, between a bad boy, dance instructor and a good girl. How could you not love Johnny and Baby? Their connection was so quick and unexpected, that the romantic in me could watch this movie a million times. I think I'm up to about 1000. My favorite lines are:

Penny to Baby - "Go back to your playpen, Baby. "

Johnny to Everyone - "I'm gonna do my kind of dancin' with a great partner, who's not only a terrific dancer; somebody who's taught me that there are people willing to stand up for other people no matter what it costs them; somebody who's taught me about the kind of person I wanna be. "

And of course, Diva in Demand and I agree of this wonderful line, spoken from Baby to Johnny - "Me? I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of what I saw, I'm scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you."

The Five Heartbeats - story of an African American singing group, from their rise to fame in the 60's to their downfall in the late 70's. I laugh, cry and sing every time I watch this movie. It's got it all for me - friendship, love, music, action, scandal, overcoming addiction, etc. It was so well written and acted. The set design for each time period was dead on - vehicles, clothing, hair, etc. Beware - never watch it with me. I know about 90% of the dialogue. Favorite lines:

Eddie to the group: "Ya'll sure you wanna sang with ole Eddie King Jr?"
(tears in my eyes every time)

Random man to himself, in restaurant - "Every night, I gotta fight to prove my love!"
(that line cracks me up every time)

Donald "Duck" to audience at Awards Ceremony - "I was at a party once and a critic said, 'Donald Matthews will be a great writer when he suffers more.' And I though to myself, what does that mean - suffers more? Well, I'm on my way to becoming a great writer and I have two people to thank - my fiancee Tonya and my brother JT. My brother...who's been the same selfish m****f***a since we were kids!"

Space Camp - This movie is about 5 kids and an instructor at Space Camp, who accidentally get thrust into space. Ya'll I loved this movie so much that for months, I begged my parents to send to the real NASA Space Camp in Huntsville, Alabama. During the summer of 1988, I actually went to The Space Academy and I loved it. This movie holds a special place in my heart and is definitely my favorite cheesy 80's movie. Favorite lines:

Katheryn to Kevin - "My mom always says that being boss and being bossy aren't the same. "

Tish to the group - "Whip me, beat me, take away my charge cards... NASA is talking!"

Kevin to Katheryn - "What's the worst thing that can happen? We'll all die, right?"

If you've never seen these, check 'em out. Here's the rest of my top 10:

4. Beaches
5. Purple Rain
6. Grease
7. Harlem Nights
8. Lady Sings the Blues
9. Shawshank Redemption
10. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

What are your favorite movies and favorite lines from them?

Requiem for a Friendship

I love Christmas Music. Did ya'll hear me? Seriously, I have over 500 Xmas mp3's. An assortment of Whitney, Toni, Donny, the Boys Choir of Harlem, Luther, Mariah, N'Sync (hush, they were soulful on their xmas album), the Ohio Players, the Temptations, Kenny G, New Edition, SWV and many, many others fill my speakers from Thanksgiving morning until 11:59pm Christmas night.

I've got 2 mp3 CD's in the car, so at any give time, I have 300 tunes playing at random. This morning, "Silver Bells" by A Few Good Men. Does anyone other than me even remember this group? I think they had one CD of their own, but they were featured on "A La Face Family Christmas" CD that came out in 1993. Bet'cha didn't even know La Face had a Christmas CD!

Anyway, I was exposed to this song through an old friend who we'll call Beanie. Beanie and I met during my first year in college. The New Yorker (me) and the Southerner by way of Richmond, VA (her) bonded immediately and by our second year, she and I were as thick as thieves. Very different, but we had forged such a deep friendship because we were both very easygoing and we LOVED to laugh. At the end of our third year, we had a falling out. Funny but I don't even remember what it was about now. Isn't that silly? Whatever it was, we obviously thought it was serious enough to not speak for a year.

We reconnected and fell back into our old rhythm. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, well you all know how it goes. After graduation, Beanie landed a job in Northern Virginia. She didn't have enough money to get her own place, so my parents offered our home to her. But it's all good, cause we're homies, right? I'd had (and still have) the same best friend (Diamond Diva) for years. We each had a "best" friend outside of our friendship, but we were roommates and "everyday" friends, which is different.

Fast forward a year and a half - Beanie's dating a jerk (Army Boy)and moves out to live with him. Uh, ok, you're grown and I can't stop you. You're my girl, so even if I don't like him, I'll suck it up for the peace within our friendship. Fast forward 1 year - coincidentally, my husband and I move into an apartment in NW Washington, across the street from Beanie and Army Boy. Beanie interviews and gets a job at the company I work for. Geez, the four of us are together too damn much! *lol*

Fast forward 1 more year - Beanie's best friend calls to ask me what I'd be getting Beanie and Army Boy for their wedding anniversary. **blinking rapidly while listening to the crickets** Come again? Wedding? Beanie and Army Boy? Uh, I guess we weren't quite as close as it seemed. We only went to work and came home together, shopped together, ate dinner most nights together, traveled together and shared holidays together. Hell, sorry for the TMI, but that heifer knew when my Aunt Flo came and went. I was hurt and I felt like our friendship was being played out through a lie. How can you look me in the face and not share something SO BIG? Even if it was a spur of the moment Vegas type thing, wouldn't you call me once the deed was done? She let a whole year go by and she never said a word. I could go into more details but this entry would be 100 pages long. Ya'll get the drift.

So, since I'm so good at keeping my emotions and anger in check *lmao*, I confronted her. Many, many things were said that should never be said in the heat of an argument. The kind of things that you can't take back when you both calm down. The kind of words and well aimed jabs that "sorry" can't erase. The kind of wounds that stay infected even after they've scabbed over and appear to be healed.

So, I often think of Beanie and the parts of our friendship that were good, while trying to not think about why and how it ended. I was bitter, but I'm past that now. I find it especially hard during the holidays because we used to enjoy them together. This song, "Silver Bells" by A Few Good Men, was her favorite Christmas Song. Not my favorite, but it meant something to her; so now when I hear it, I turn it up loud, sing along with the brothers and say a prayer that my old friend is well. She's out of my life, but not forgotten.

Them Vs. Us

I love 99% of my commute from Washington, DC to Baltimore, MD. I travel along the Baltimore Washington Parkway and it's a very direct and typically stress free trip. Except when they are on the road. For those of you who are not familiar, the BW Parkway is two lanes for approximately 25 miles. Yes, only two lanes. And two lane highways ALWAYS bring them out.

I detest them. Some days, I don't see any of them. And other days, I want to pull out my hair and banish them from earth. Who are they, you ask? You might just be one of them. I hope not, because if so, your feelings may be hurt by what I'm about to say.

Slowers drivers should move to the right because the left lane is for passing.

Huh? What'd you say TDJ? Say it a little louder for those that didn't get it the first time. I said, Slower drivers should move to the right because the left lane is for passing.

Let me say this - no matter the speed limit or how fast you're driving, if you are in the left lane with empty road ahead of you, MOVE and let the cars behind you go. This is especially true if they are very close to the rear of your car, if they have honked at you or flashed their lights. Don't get me wrong, I think tailgating is dangerous and I think honking and flashing is aggressive and rude. But, like Chris Rock said, "I ain't sayin' it's right, but I understand."

Now folks who observe the posted speed limits and drive in the left lane will object to this post.

They'll say, "I'm going the speed limit, so I can stay in the left lane."
I say, "No, the left lane is for passing, so if someone is trying to pass you, then you need to move from the left lane."

They'll say, "You're going too fast and it's dangerous."
I say, "Get in the right lane and I'll be past you before you know it. Crisis averted."

They'll say, "I'm not moving because you're speeding and you shouldn't be going that fast anyway."
I say, "Until you get a badge and the ability to pull me over for speeding, move the hell outta my way. I'll worry about the law, but thanks your concern."

They'll say, "The speed limit is 55 and I'm going 65."
I say, "Yes, but we all learned that 70 and 75 are faster than 65. No matter how fast you're going, if I appear to be going faster, move it slow poke!"

Bottom line, stay in the right lane if you're not a fast driver. If you happen to be in the left lane, please realize that your rear view and side mirrors are there to help you, not hurt you. If you see a car approaching rapidly in the mirror, that mean's they're going faster than you, so move to the right. If the road in front of you is clear and there is a line of cars behind you, move to the right. Some drivers get so frustrated, they begin to play the zig zag game, just to get past them.

Perhaps I'm a bit impatient and ya girl is always in a rush. Perhaps. Or maybe I just seem like I'm in a rush because they're driving like we're on a country road in Idaho, on the way to Sunday service.

I'll probably get some cheers from the other fast drivers and some strong words from them, but don't worry, I'm ready for them. I drive a Volkswagon Passat and I'll be in the left lane going so fast that they won't be able to catch me.