Freedom to Disagree

For someone who talks as much as I do, it's pretty hard to render me speechless. Over the last two weeks, alot has been written and discussed regarding Anna Nicole Smith, the comments made by Tim Hardaway, "The Secret" and the new Tyler Perry movie, "Daddy's Little Girls". I belong to a local listserv and I've been watching silently. Watching and reading most of the comments about these topics, as they've ranged from one end of the spectrum to the other. I've had one particular comment to post, but instead I decided to write a blog about it. It's not about Anna Nicole (me thinks foul play), Tim Hardaway (absolute idiot), "The Secret" (duh) or "Daddy's Little Girls" (D+/C-). I've wanted to say this, why can't we disagree without personally attacking each other or becoming personally offended and highly emotional? I'm at the point where I'm on the verge on cancelling my membership to this listserv. Maybe it's the wrong group of folks for me. There are some great folks, but maybe a few too many close minded ones for the kid.

As my girl Creole often says, please give your opinion but be respectful. Have people in general lost the art of a good debate? Is it impossible, in today's society of "feelings" and "sensitivities", to have an open dialogue, without someone getting nasty? Since when did I have to agree with the majority, simply because? If I surrounded myself with people who agreed with everything I said, we'd be like a damn Amen choir. (Is it bad to use "damn" and "Amen" in the same sentence?)

Let me be a little more specific with my point. Do women know who to discuss an issue? Do women know how to have an actual dialogue and debate? Now clearly, I don't mean all women. But it seems that we (women) are the first group to take personal offense at someone else's opinion, during a dialogue. Is it all women, or all black women more sensitive? I know folks like Creole, TndrHrt, LaBella Noire (and a bunch of other folks that I'm not listing *lol*) can relate their opinions in a rational, concise way and they don't burst into tears, write in all capitals or end their comments with "and that's all I'm gonna say" with the first person that disagrees with them. Remember one of Darius's lines to Nina in "Love Jones"? "Girl, you stomping down the street like somebody stole your fuckin' bike!". That's what the sista's in these dialogues remind me of.

It seems to me that boys and men, disagree and keep it moving. And realize that I'm not talking about "stoopit people" (courtesy Creole) and people who are intentionally trying to offend or criticize. They should be dealt with. *lol* I'm referring to basic discussions where we all have our own opinions. It seems that if I don't agree with the majority, my opinion isn't valid. In particular, folks on my listserve were being attacked for being angered by Tim Hardaway's comments (the attackers claimed free speech), agreeing with "The Secret" on a metaphysical level (the attackers claimed they didn't believe in God) and not liking "Daddy's Little Girls" (the attackers claim that we shouldn't be "badmouthing" Tyler Perry.) Huh? So now I can't have my own thoughts? Why does my differing opinion enrage you so much? What do ya'll think?

Tolerance and Acceptance Trumps Death Any Day

Do you? Do you really? I’m not a parent yet, so I approach this discussion from a different perspective. I think by now, the case of Rachel Crites and Rachel Smith has made national headlines. Two Maryland teenagers disappeared on January 19, after telling their parents that they were going to a movie. No further contact was made. Their bodies were discovered on February 2, as the apparent "victims" of suicide, by way of carbon monoxide poisoning.

A sheet of paper, stuffed into Crites diary, contained the message, “Wherever I end up laying, whether buried or cremated, I want to stay with my true love, buried next to her. This is my choice. I’m sorry.” Oh. OH. OOOHHHH!!! Her sister has said to the media that “they didn’t run away because of their sexuality.” They didn’t? Hmmm….sure sounds like it to me, but hey, I can only give my opinion of the facts as they are presented. I can say this though, my oldest and dearest friend, Diamond Diva and I have been through it and back over the last 17 years, but I have never, ever referred to her as "my true love".

For whatever the reason, it’s a tragedy that these two young girls chose to take their own lives. I recall my teenage years and they were tough. It seems that teenagers are convinced that “today everything is as important as it ever will be”. They turn minor things into life altering experiences and they get so caught up in “the moment” that they can’t see “the future”. Remember:

You: Guess what? Rhonda didn't speak to me this morning at the bus stop.

Gail, Friend: That's because Rhonda told me that Sheila told her that, Tarika told Sheila, that Dominique said that Pam and Keisha told her that they, saw you talking to Ricky in the hallway. And you know she like Ricky.

You: We was just talking about homework. Dang!

Gail: I believe you, but Pam and Keisha said ya'll looked really sneaky.

Thus, the end (most times temporary) of your friendship with Rhonda. Not sure if guys go through it, but even the most level-headed teenager will have at least one of these ridiculous conversations in her lifetime. I can't imagine compounding the normal teenage nonsense with burgeoning feelings of homosexuality.

If these young ladies had expressed their homosexuality to their family and friends, I can only hope that they were met with open arms. If you can’t tell by reading my blog, I’m pretty much a live and let live kinda person. I don’t give a damn who you chose to love, as long as they love you back and treat you well. Period. Sounds simple, but I truly believe it and I try to live it.

I’ve always felt that way. If I become a parent, will that change? I sure hope not. Of course the future visions of my son or daughter growing up, being healthy and happy. I’d lie if I said that I didn’t dream about the big wedding I’d try to convince each of them to have. *lol* But, none of that is guaranteed. Not their life expectancy their health, their happiness or their heterosexuality. Would I love a homosexual child less or treat them any differently? Today, at the age of 30, in my wide eyed, liberal, non-parental mind, I’ll venture a bet on no. And even if I changed my mind and didn't approve or support their feelings and the situation, would I want them to become depressed and suffer the fate of Smith and Crites? According to the National Center for Health Statistics, there were 31,484 cases of suicide in the United States in 2001. Of that 31,484, 7.9% or 2487 were teenagers between the ages of 15-19 years of age. Wow.

What do ya’ll think? How would you react in finding out that one (or more) of your children was homosexual? Would it matter? Would your opinion of them change? Would you be able to accept the situation? Tolerate it? I bring suicide into the discussion, only in reference to this particular case. I understand that for some people, this issue (sexuality) is deeply rooted in their spirituality/religion. Let’s be respectful of everyone’s opinion and their right to have one.

Everything and Nothing

Hey folks! I've been a bad blogger lately, hence the week long lag between posts. It seems like there's a bit of everything and a whole lotta nothing going on with me. *lol* I've been working hard on a homework assignment for my writing class. I haven't been visiting my normal blogs, but I'll catch up this weekend. A few thoughts:

• At my job, I work with a group of co-workers called, The Human Relations Committee. We sponsor events like the annual field day picnic, angel trees during the holidays, coat and book drive for local shelters and community centers, etc. One of my responsibilities is to create the display board, acknowledging "the month" - February/Black History, March/Women's History, etc. So, this morning, I ask the Graphics Arts Dude (GAD) to make a title banner for Black History Month. He brought me a banner in Times New Roman font, black letters and no border. Huh? Uh, yeah, GAD, I could have done that. So I asked him what's up? Normally the banners he give me are great. Fun fonts, with creative borders, etc. He says, "Well, someone came by after last month's display and suggested that I used a plainer font. They thought that someone might take offense and consider the fonts too ethnic." WTF? Since when do fonts have an ethnic component? I rolled my eyes and walked away.

• I just don't know what to make of this case. Not sure if it made national news, so I'll summarize. A young woman, Sintia Mesa, lived in the DC Metro area and traveled to Baltimore every Friday for her personal appointments (hair and nails). The original reports were that she was missing and the family made pleas for her safe return. She had a sweet smile and an innocent face. Unfortunately, she was found murdered in the trunk of her car. Damn. Another tragic death. Then more of the story began to emerge. Hmm, maybe Ms. Mesa wasn't so innocent. Don't misunderstand what I'm saying. I didn't wish the young lady harm, nor do I think that anyone deserves to be murdered. However, the facts of the case are a bit on the shady side (a boyfriend, an arrest, drugs, money in a storage unit, tracking devices, the ATF, etc). I'd like to get to the bottom of the story.

• It's 11:15pm and there ain't a lick of snow or ice on the ground. Why are 2 DC Charter Schools closed tomorrow because of "inclement conditions"? That's what the news anchor just said. Call me Stevie Wonder, cause I can't see it.

• So far, I've met 3 local DC bloggers: Creole Princess, TenderHeart and Honest. Great, great ladies that I really enjoyed meeting. Based on the local folks that I read, I think it would be interesting to meet Bklyn Diva, The Hostess, LaBella Noire, Fresh, Thinking and Enigma. Their blogs amuse me and/or make me think. I hope this isn't interpreted as blog sweating or stalking. *lol* These folks just give me the "sane, cool peeps vibe". And now, I've clearly given them the "crazy woman" vibe.

• Why am I hooked on watching "A Different World" in reruns? I think I've seen every single episode at least 5 times and I still look forward to them.

• The marketing campaign for the Cartoon Networks, "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" and the overanxious folks in Boston gave me the best laugh of the week. This deserves an 80's throwback - CHILL OUT!!

• I'm normally a pretty tech savvy person, but I'm having the damnedest time figuring out how to add a Blog Roll to my page. *lol* Can somebody who has mastered that in Blogger help ya girl out? Thanks in advance!

I'll talk to ya'll later!