Freedom to Disagree

For someone who talks as much as I do, it's pretty hard to render me speechless. Over the last two weeks, alot has been written and discussed regarding Anna Nicole Smith, the comments made by Tim Hardaway, "The Secret" and the new Tyler Perry movie, "Daddy's Little Girls". I belong to a local listserv and I've been watching silently. Watching and reading most of the comments about these topics, as they've ranged from one end of the spectrum to the other. I've had one particular comment to post, but instead I decided to write a blog about it. It's not about Anna Nicole (me thinks foul play), Tim Hardaway (absolute idiot), "The Secret" (duh) or "Daddy's Little Girls" (D+/C-). I've wanted to say this, why can't we disagree without personally attacking each other or becoming personally offended and highly emotional? I'm at the point where I'm on the verge on cancelling my membership to this listserv. Maybe it's the wrong group of folks for me. There are some great folks, but maybe a few too many close minded ones for the kid.

As my girl Creole often says, please give your opinion but be respectful. Have people in general lost the art of a good debate? Is it impossible, in today's society of "feelings" and "sensitivities", to have an open dialogue, without someone getting nasty? Since when did I have to agree with the majority, simply because? If I surrounded myself with people who agreed with everything I said, we'd be like a damn Amen choir. (Is it bad to use "damn" and "Amen" in the same sentence?)

Let me be a little more specific with my point. Do women know who to discuss an issue? Do women know how to have an actual dialogue and debate? Now clearly, I don't mean all women. But it seems that we (women) are the first group to take personal offense at someone else's opinion, during a dialogue. Is it all women, or all black women more sensitive? I know folks like Creole, TndrHrt, LaBella Noire (and a bunch of other folks that I'm not listing *lol*) can relate their opinions in a rational, concise way and they don't burst into tears, write in all capitals or end their comments with "and that's all I'm gonna say" with the first person that disagrees with them. Remember one of Darius's lines to Nina in "Love Jones"? "Girl, you stomping down the street like somebody stole your fuckin' bike!". That's what the sista's in these dialogues remind me of.

It seems to me that boys and men, disagree and keep it moving. And realize that I'm not talking about "stoopit people" (courtesy Creole) and people who are intentionally trying to offend or criticize. They should be dealt with. *lol* I'm referring to basic discussions where we all have our own opinions. It seems that if I don't agree with the majority, my opinion isn't valid. In particular, folks on my listserve were being attacked for being angered by Tim Hardaway's comments (the attackers claimed free speech), agreeing with "The Secret" on a metaphysical level (the attackers claimed they didn't believe in God) and not liking "Daddy's Little Girls" (the attackers claim that we shouldn't be "badmouthing" Tyler Perry.) Huh? So now I can't have my own thoughts? Why does my differing opinion enrage you so much? What do ya'll think?