Tolerance and Acceptance Trumps Death Any Day

Do you? Do you really? I’m not a parent yet, so I approach this discussion from a different perspective. I think by now, the case of Rachel Crites and Rachel Smith has made national headlines. Two Maryland teenagers disappeared on January 19, after telling their parents that they were going to a movie. No further contact was made. Their bodies were discovered on February 2, as the apparent "victims" of suicide, by way of carbon monoxide poisoning.

A sheet of paper, stuffed into Crites diary, contained the message, “Wherever I end up laying, whether buried or cremated, I want to stay with my true love, buried next to her. This is my choice. I’m sorry.” Oh. OH. OOOHHHH!!! Her sister has said to the media that “they didn’t run away because of their sexuality.” They didn’t? Hmmm….sure sounds like it to me, but hey, I can only give my opinion of the facts as they are presented. I can say this though, my oldest and dearest friend, Diamond Diva and I have been through it and back over the last 17 years, but I have never, ever referred to her as "my true love".

For whatever the reason, it’s a tragedy that these two young girls chose to take their own lives. I recall my teenage years and they were tough. It seems that teenagers are convinced that “today everything is as important as it ever will be”. They turn minor things into life altering experiences and they get so caught up in “the moment” that they can’t see “the future”. Remember:

You: Guess what? Rhonda didn't speak to me this morning at the bus stop.

Gail, Friend: That's because Rhonda told me that Sheila told her that, Tarika told Sheila, that Dominique said that Pam and Keisha told her that they, saw you talking to Ricky in the hallway. And you know she like Ricky.

You: We was just talking about homework. Dang!

Gail: I believe you, but Pam and Keisha said ya'll looked really sneaky.

Thus, the end (most times temporary) of your friendship with Rhonda. Not sure if guys go through it, but even the most level-headed teenager will have at least one of these ridiculous conversations in her lifetime. I can't imagine compounding the normal teenage nonsense with burgeoning feelings of homosexuality.

If these young ladies had expressed their homosexuality to their family and friends, I can only hope that they were met with open arms. If you can’t tell by reading my blog, I’m pretty much a live and let live kinda person. I don’t give a damn who you chose to love, as long as they love you back and treat you well. Period. Sounds simple, but I truly believe it and I try to live it.

I’ve always felt that way. If I become a parent, will that change? I sure hope not. Of course the future visions of my son or daughter growing up, being healthy and happy. I’d lie if I said that I didn’t dream about the big wedding I’d try to convince each of them to have. *lol* But, none of that is guaranteed. Not their life expectancy their health, their happiness or their heterosexuality. Would I love a homosexual child less or treat them any differently? Today, at the age of 30, in my wide eyed, liberal, non-parental mind, I’ll venture a bet on no. And even if I changed my mind and didn't approve or support their feelings and the situation, would I want them to become depressed and suffer the fate of Smith and Crites? According to the National Center for Health Statistics, there were 31,484 cases of suicide in the United States in 2001. Of that 31,484, 7.9% or 2487 were teenagers between the ages of 15-19 years of age. Wow.

What do ya’ll think? How would you react in finding out that one (or more) of your children was homosexual? Would it matter? Would your opinion of them change? Would you be able to accept the situation? Tolerate it? I bring suicide into the discussion, only in reference to this particular case. I understand that for some people, this issue (sexuality) is deeply rooted in their spirituality/religion. Let’s be respectful of everyone’s opinion and their right to have one.