A Change of Scenery

I'm out folks! Follow me here:

http://mrstdj.wordpress.com/

When Did We Become Cool Like That?

Was it moment that the word made it’s way through the building and you heard that I was pregnant?

Was it the first time you saw me in the hallway and noticed my “baby bump”?

Was it when you got the email from my assistant about my “surprise” office shower?
Or was it simply the moment that you acknowledged our united “womanhood”?

No matter the second that the notion struck you, I’m here to tell you that WE’RE NOT COOL LIKE THAT. Make note, I’m not referring to family, friends or even those in the cyber world who I call buddies. I’m specifically referring to co-workers. Not office friends, buddies or even lunch pals. Rather the co-workers that simply work in the same facility, building or department. The ones who pronounce my first name wrong after working with me for over 4 years. The ones that normally don’t speak and avoid eye contact. You know the ones?

Pregnancy is a condition that unfortunately, becomes visibly obvious to anyone of average intelligence at some point during the months preceding the little one’s arrival.
However, visible evidence aside, it is still a personal decision and I strongly feel that the details are not public information unless you decide to share. Is TDJ just a sourpuss? I think not. I simply think that some of questions I’ve been asked over the last week border on noisy and intrusive, while the rest fall the hell into the “damn, I can’t believe you asked me that” zone.

Examples include:
Wow, that weight fell off and hubby couldn’t keep his hands to himself huh?
But you lost so much weight! Are you going to be able to get it back off after the baby?
Are you planning a natural childbirth or a c-section?
Are you going to breast feed? I really think you should.
You’re 32, have you had the baby tested for Down’s syndrome and stuff?
Were you guys trying or was this a slip-up?

What the hell is wrong with people? When did it become ok to simply say anything to anyone? Simple questions like, is this your first or do you know what you’re having don’t irritate me. That’s just curiosity and although I wouldn’t ask a virtual stranger, I understand those that do. But, the questions that I’ve been getting? Inappropriate in my book. So you know what, my cranky ass have developed a list of equally inappropriate responses. Here they go:

Wow, that weight fell off and hubby couldn’t keep his hands to himself huh?
How do you know it’s my husband’s baby?
Were you guys trying or was this a slip-up?
Damn those dollar store condoms!
But you lost so much weight! Are you going to be able to get it back off after the baby?
I hope so, if not I’m not opposed to trying crack-cocaine.
Are you planning a natural childbirth or a c-section?
Not sure, but I’ll call you from Labor and Delivery for your opinion.
Are you going to breast feed? I really think you should.
I think you shouldn’t ask such nosey questions.
You’re 32, have you had the baby tested for Down’s syndrome and stuff?
Why - do you have a cure?

Rude is rude no matter how you frame it. I get the fact that most people, especially women, like babies. I get the fact that most people are excited with the possibility of a baby being anywhere in the vicinity. I get it! But, does that green light the rudeness?

Perhaps I’m extra sensitive during my 2nd trimester, but I think not. I am extra cranky, so I pity the co-worker that approaches me on a real bad day. They’re gonna catch hell!

Never Without My Wedding Rings

Hey Blog World! What's the haps in your neck of the woods? All is well around these parts. So much on my mind and no clear direction, so I'll drop a few short posts with some things that I've been thinking.

In July 2007, I underwent gastric bypass surgery and since that time I have lost over 150 pounds. I am happy with my decision to undergo surgery and my life has been better in the last year than I could ever have imagined. That’s not the point of this post though. *lol* So, since I lost so much weight, my engagement and wedding rings are much too big now. However, every time that I've take them in to get sized, my fingers are at least 1/4 size smaller than they were the last time. The jeweler asked how much weight I’d be losing and if it was more than 50 pounds, then I should wait to get then cut down then.

So, since about February of this year, I’ve been wearing both rings on my necklace. Not my preferred location, but I felt that this was better than nothing. Well, now that I’m pregnant (and showing), I feel a very strong need to wear them on my hand. This is not a rant or judgment against people who choose to have children out of wedlock. Everyone makes a choice for their life, but I chose to wait until I was married to have a child. I’m married and pregnant, and I’d like the world to see both. I was raised by strong parents who showed me through example that within the bounds of a healthy marraige, raising children together could be a fantastic experience. My husband and I are approaching our 4th wedding anniversary in September and I’m excited about it.

My grandmother made a statement a few weeks after learning that I was having a child. She said to me, "I love all my great grands, Lord knows I do. But, there is something really special about the child that you and Mr. TDJ are having cause ya'll done it the right way. You got married, ya'll bought a house and now you're having a baby. Yes Lord, there is certainly something special about that."

Her words made me stop, think and agree with her. So, sure, you can call me conservative, traditional, self-righteous or any other adjective that you feel applies. I’ll just call myself, Mrs. TDJ, the married, smiling, pregnant woman.

The Thinker In Me

Creole and TndrHrt have both done this little quiz and the results seemed very interesting. I know these ladies a bit and I'm learning more over time. The majority of their results seem to accurately describe the women I am getting to know. So, I decided to take the test myself. Check out the site if you'd like to take the test:
http://www.9types.com/newtest/homepage.actual.html

Here are my results:

(I've highlighted, in red, the ones that really nail the essence of me *lol*)

The Observer/The Thinker (the Five)
Observers have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical, and insightful.

How to Get Along with Me

• Be independent, not clingy.


• Speak in a straightforward and brief manner.


• I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts.


• Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable.


• Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity.


• If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place. (NOT!)


• don't come on like a bulldozer.


• Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy. (Why the h*ll am I blogging? *lol*)

What I Like About Being a Five

• standing back and viewing life objectively


• coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects


• my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure


• not being caught up in material possessions and status


• being calm in a crisis

What's Hard About Being a Five

• being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world


• feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all


• being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be


• watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally

Fives as Children Often

• spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on


• have a few special friends rather than many


• are very bright and curious and do well in school


• have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers


• watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information


• assume a poker face in order not to look afraid


• are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict


• feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected

Fives as Parents

• are often kind, perceptive, and devoted


• are sometimes authoritarian and demanding


• may expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate


• may be intolerant of their children expressing strong emotions

Whoa! That was a pretty accurate read of ya girl. Not a parent yet, but that sounds like the kind of parent I'd be. Ya'll should try it.