A Saw By Any Other Name

Hey all. I’ve been MIA dealing with a big work conference. It’s over now and I can return to blogging. I bet ya'll all think you know what the pic above is and what it's used for, don't cha? Well, keep reading.

Anyway, I’m working on a few posts, but what I saw tonight when I got home made me grab the laptop for a quick post.

A little info on my neighborhood: I live in DC, in a neighborhood that is starting to become gentrified, but it’s another 5-6 years coming. So, there are still abandoned buildings, drug dealers, mixed with 400K homes and brand new condos popping up daily. Get it?

Our home is small, but neat. My husband isn’t that handy around the house, especially in the yard work. With all the recent rain that we’ve had, our grass looks like this:

It’s kinda pitiful, I know. Hush! Prior to this year, there was a teenager three doors down who cut it every two weeks, but he's gone away to college. I haven't yet found another teenager to handle things.

We also have another neighbor, address unknown, who I call Crack. Crack is a likeable dude, but unfortunately, he’s a an addict. Not sure exactly what his drug of choice is, but there’s definitely a problem. So, Crack comes by every couple of days to offer services like car washing, trash collection, gutter cleaning, etc. He offers most of his services for $5. WTF? Note to Crack – ask for $10 dude. Anyway, hubby and I normally give him at least $10, but sometimes, depending on what the work is, we'll give more.

Fast forward to this evening. As I’m coming in from work, Crack appears and chats me up a bit. After a minute or two, ya girl is ready to get in the house and take my damn stockings off. Crack claims that he knows someone with a lawnmower he can borrow and asks me if I want the grass cut. Uh, Crack, I think I lost my husband in there this morning. Of course I want the grass cut. So, I say yep, cut away.

Hubby arrives and we take a ride to go house hunting (more on that another day). When we return, this is what we see:

What in the Edward Scissorhands, blind grass cutting hell is this? There is no sign of Crack, but there is a collection of tools on the front porch:


Let’s take a closer look at the tools that Crack has chosen for this task:

A hand saw with half a handle? And what the hell was he planning on digging up? Where are the rest of the "fingers" to the rake? Lordie, lordie. My poor lawn. I laughed all the way into the house to get the digital camera. As you can see, this pic was taken at about 9pm and it was pretty dark out. The porch is only lit with motion lights and the entire yard is normally dark.

Crack hasn’t been back to finish, so he may have given up. Judging by the assembled tools, I don’t blame him. He’ll be back. If not tonight, then tomorrow. If you live in NE DC, lock up ya lawnmowers!